moral-highground replied to your post: I’m deleting my Tumblr.

WHAT AN OMINOUS HEADING.

girlie-guts replied to your post: I’m deleting my Tumblr.

that heading scared the SHIT out of me :’c but i’m glad you’re making a new one!

Hahahah, sorry! I’ll go change it so that I’m not sued for causing heart attacks or something.

It’s become intertwined with real life and has become widely available and known to people I don’t trust or want reading my blog, so I’m starting over with one that will hopefully remain private for a little bit longer.

Once I’ve made a new one, I’ll leave the URL in the ask boxes of those who are following me now.

It’s been swell, and I’ll see you all on the other side.

(P.S. Real-life people who are following me: There are a few of you who I am fine with reading my blog, and I adore and trust you. You know who you are, no worries there. There are also some of you who I do not want reading my blog (for whatever reason), and you won’t be getting the new URL. Sorry.)

dr-grumbles:

stfusexists:

thecurvature:

You know, the “PC” one? Who “has a problem with every little thing”? And “Doesn’t have a sense of humor” and “doesn’t get that it’s just a word,” etc.? Her? Yeah. I hate being her. I mean, I’d rather be straight up hated, really, than perceived as a nuisance and cause for avoidance and eye rolls and resented and thought of as someone who thinks she’s better than everyone else.

I mean, if you’ve been That Person, you know The Look. The one that everyone gets on their face when you start to take issue with something fucked up they’ve said AGAIN, and the way they all look at each other like “Oh. Her. There she goes again, being all ‘political’! Sigh. Is she done yet?”

I don’t know why that look terrifies me so much. It’s a lot worse than a snarl and a combative stance, to me. I can yell back and argue with the best of them, if I want to. But that sense that I am just a giant pain in the ass and it’s best to just ignore her and why can’t I shut up and stop making everyone uncomfortable already … just inevitably makes me feel so small.

That means I’m often bad at saying something when I want to. Fear of that look. Even online — no, especially online, because where The Look happens in real life or not, I won’t know, and so will just assume that it has happened anyway. And then, inevitably, I end up hating myself for it.

Don’t let anyone make you feel like crap for standing up for what’s right, especially not the ignorant douches who think it’s funny to make light of the struggles of marginalized people. It’s tough as hell, and I know full well that the structure of the world is against you. It’s against anyone who dares to challenge the balance of power, anyone who dares to speak up about how and why being downtrodden and the butt of a joke isn’t funny.

And that sucks. But you know what sucks more? Being the sexist/racist/cissexist/heterosexist/ableist/classist asshole making those “jokes” in the first goddamn place. Because those “jokes” are hurting people and perpetuating negativity regardless of whether or not the person making them gets called out. Telling someone they have a festering wound isn’t the problem, the festering wound is the problem.

Yes, people will get defensive. Yes, people will claim that being called sexist or racist or what have you is worse than actually making comments that are sexist or racist or what have you. And the vast majority of the people you call out on their bad behavior aren’t ready to learn from you, and they aren’t ready to admit that you’re right or consider your viewpoint. But when they are ready, your reaction will be an experience that they’ll remember.

But most importantly, you will run across those few people that are affected by what you say, either because you’re calling them out or they watched you call out someone else and were grateful And even if you don’t know that you’ve made a difference to anyone, you probably already have.

Hold your head high, not because you think you’re better than everyone else, but because you’re trying to be a better person than society demands you be.      

 I’m totally that person. This is totally happening in my Research Class right now. I have a white, privilege denying professor who likes to erase populations. Its a challenge for me to get up and go to class every day.

At this point, I have a fucking tiara and sash that say That Person.

(via dr-grumbles-deactivated20110315)

sadydoyle:

Let us explain, as I have done, many times, whilst drunk:

Over here, we have Taylor Swift. She is fulfilling one of the fucked-up Acceptable Woman archetypes: Permanent girl-child, weirdly virginal no matter how many famous dudes she dates and writes songs about dating, white-dress-clad, sort of a permanent bride waiting for her lifelong heterosexual marriage which is the only thing you can really envision for her, Has A Lot Of Feelings but saves the really venomous ones for (a) girls whose boyfriends she wants to steal, (b) girls who steal her boyfriends, and (c) occasionally boyfriends. Depoliticized, only ever speaks about private concerns, anti-feminist or a-feminist, a giant child, strangely impossible to sexualize (even when she’s talking about “things that [another girl] does on the mattress,” she sounds like a sixth-grader who’s not quite clear on what Mattress Things consist of, but knows they’re DIRTY and girls who do them are GROSS). Acceptable, culturally, for these reasons.

AND OVER HERE, on the OTHER END of the spectrum, we have Ke$ha. Who, yes, looks exactly like Taylor Swift in the process of incurring the world’s worst hangover. Permanently offensive, permanently blitzed, always as loud and rude and inappropriate as she can possibly be at all times, frankly and hugely and inappropriately sexual, confrontational, vulgar, mean, covered in glitter and puke and possibly her own urine, out for attention and doesn’t care who knows it: Ke$ha occupies the whore/bad girl end of the Girl Spectrum, on which Taylor Swift is of course the virgin/good girl at the opposite end. You would think the whore/bad girl would be less acceptable, in the grand scheme of things, but it’s not true: She’s still depoliticized and anti-feminist or a-feminist, she still reserves her hostilities for other girls and the disappointing boys she’s dated, so we have room for her. If only because we need someone to publicly vilify and disassociate ourselves from. And I have a sneaky love for this archetype, because I spent some time occupying it myself in my less mature years, but yes, let’s be frank, Ke$ha is freaking awful. Much like (IMO! IMO!) Taylor Swift.

BUT THEN WE HAVE KATY PERRY. AND I HATE HER SO MUCH MORE THAN EITHER OF THOSE WOMEN, YOU GUYS, I DON’T KNOW HER BUT I JUST CANNOT STAND HER PUBLIC PERSONA OR MUSIC, MY DISLIKE IS SO EXTREME.

Because the Taylor Swift act is an act. The Ke$ha act is an act. We know these women to be actresses, each playing to a specific archetype of womanhood, with some major collaboration by the media which wants to construe them as one or the other ANYWAY.

But right here, not even in the middle but somehow bilocating herself to both ends of the spectrum while occupying neither, we have Katy Fucking Perry AND I CAN’T STAND IT. She is trying to occupy BOTH of these FUCKING AWFUL AND REGRESSIVE ARCHETYPES. She shows up talking about your cock and shooting whipped cream out of her tits, and then she talks about how marriage is super-important to her and she “tamed” her husband out of non-monogamy. She kissed a girl, and she liked it, but ultimately it’s very important that her boyfriend don’t mind it, because he has veto power on her sexuality. She wants to see your cock, but not really, cocks are for heterosexual monogamous marriage and she has one of those. She wants to be a bad girl who’s also a good girl, a Whore who’s also a Madonna, and it’s not about complexity, DON’T SAY IT’S ABOUT COMPLEXITY, it’s the exact same thing sex-positive AND older-school feminists have been complaining about FOREVER.

Yeah. That thing where we tell girls to be “sexy, but not sexual?” That thing where we frame female sexuality EXPLICITLY as a performance for men, not an experience within your own body that you get to define? That thing where we codify performing for men as “rebellion,” which strangely makes your “rebellion” (HA) (UGH) dependent on how much you please men, and once more divorces you from your own complex human sexuality in favor of making it an externally-defined show which you have to create in order to please as many men as possible? But you can’t ACTUALLY be having a lot of non-monogamous sex, so you have to be as constantly, overtly, “rebelliously” sexy as possible WHILE ALSO FINDING A HUSBAND AND “TAMING” HIM TO RESPECT THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE WHICH IS SOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT TO YOU???????

THAT IS KATY PERRY.

STOP SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT HER.

SHE IS AN EXAMPLE OF EVERYTHING WRONG ABOUT THE PRESSURES ON WOMEN IN THIS OUR CURRENT ERA.

SHE JUST IS.

SHE’S AWFUL.

STOP.

Can we make flyers out of this? T-shirts? Handy pamphlets? Because Katy Perry is the embodiment of everything that is wrong with the media’s depiction of female sexuality, and this hits the nail so smack-bang on the head.

(via sdfwe4332)

dr-grumbles:

thelastgreatpoolparty:

Are You a Woman Who Views, Reads, or Listens to Pornography, Erotica, Romance Novels, and/or any other Sexually Explicit Materials?

If so, please share your experiences!

Complete a Short Survey (30 min or less) and Contribute to a Scholarly Understanding of Women’s Experiences with Sexually Explicit Materials

My name is Kari Hempel and I am a female psychology graduate student who is doing my dissertation research on women’s experiences with sexually explicit materials. For too long women’s real experiences with these materials have been ignored. My goal is not to judge anyone’s experiences, but to accumulate surveys from as many women as possible around the country about their positive, negative, and/or mixed experiences with sexually explicit materials, and to present the differences and commonalities in a scholarly, respectful fashion.

Your Participation is Completely Confidential

Any identifying information that is asked for in the completion of this study will be kept completely confidential and will be destroyed once the study is complete.

You Qualify for Participation If:

• You are a woman (at least 18 years old)
• You currently view, read, or listen to any written, audio, visual, or audio-visual material that is sexually explicit (including but not limited to films, magazines, novels, and audio-recordings)
• You currently live in the United States

To Participate Go To: 

 https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/womens_experiences

If you have any questions or concerns, please call or email me. I am happy to address them!
Kari Hempel, MA
503-208-4083
karihempel@yahoo.com

The survey is trans and queer inclusive, so get cracking!

 Always signal boosting research opportunities!

I’m pretty sure that the majority of my followers read slash. If you do and you’re female, hop to it.

(Source: annajcook.blogspot.com, via dr-grumbles-deactivated20110315)

(Source: justjasper, via sing-ingsin-ews)